found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
