i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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