please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
NoShamevember. You game?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
3 2 1 whiskey
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
