Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It's never too late to be topless.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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