You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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