I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We're using joints as your birthday candles
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
