bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
