took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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