I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
third nipple confirmed
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
