Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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