hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
