I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
