Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
