Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
