His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
