So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
