Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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