Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
