in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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