its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
