He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
