Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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