Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
