final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
