I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
