Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
