Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
