I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize