he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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