I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize