google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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