How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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