In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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