Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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