Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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