Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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