omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
