i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
