i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
