used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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