he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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