Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize