I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
This is classic penis vs brain.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
