I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
