I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
