You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
