I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
