Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
