I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Randomize
