I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
