come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
