it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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