I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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