this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
