I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
