Farmville is her only friend.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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