so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
