I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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