yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
