Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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